​​​When we think about conflict, we generally think about it in zero-sum terms:  the more I have the less my opponent has, the more I win the more my opponent loses.  However, life does not have to be a math problem where gains and losses have to be added up. The purpose of conflict resolution is create win-win situations instead of win-lose.

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We need to understand our own pain and our group’s pain and how it contributes to the conflict. If we don’t understand why we do what we do and why we say the things we say, we are only going to repeat the present. Conflict keeps us stuck in the past. Like mud, we cannot get free of it. When we have an understanding of what is going on around us and how each of us is a part of it, we can create small changes to move towards a better future.